Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
