she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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