I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize