so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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