The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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