As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
