I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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