I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He shit in the fireplace
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
