video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
