you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
