I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
