Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
