dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
