My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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