Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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