so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
