Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
