I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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