I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
