My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
50% drunk capacity currently
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
