I wannas sexs uuuuu
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
