how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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