I want to stick my p in your. b.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
