she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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