ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
