I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
