we're blogging at a bar
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
