I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
