I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
