i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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