I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
