I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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