Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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