I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
