we need to drink 2009 down the drain
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
