im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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