Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
