office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
