So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
