i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
