remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
