My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
