She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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