Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
