just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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