ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
