I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
