I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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