before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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