I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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