everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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